Dad Flavors

Last year for Father’s Day, a local kid’s monthly did an article on stay-at-home dads. As you might assume, I strongly support men taking a bigger/less traditional role in raising their kids. That construct pretty much defines me. However, I was horribly annoyed that the article a) focused on straight middle/upper-middle class white families and b) had no representation of other types of familial structures (i.e. two home families, gay dads, donor dads, one’s that I don’t know about…etc). 

Now almost a year later on NPR this AM, I listened to another report on stay-at-home dads. This one (as one would expect) had a bit more research and analysis, but still focused on one flavor of men’s changing roles in raising their children. 

Maybe we are lucky in the Tumblrverse to see so many different types of families and roles that parents play. But to me, it gets old to see this epic historical shift in our society still being boiled down to a Mr. Mom phenom. Moreover, the fact that my old sociology professor, Stephanie Koontz - whose classes and writings laid the framework for my own ethos around the non-traditional family - did not take the opportunity in the NPR story to go further with the many different and changing roles that men play in their children’s lives. 

I need to get to work…I’ll expand on this someday…I hope.

Over the past several months, my body has been a dick. Something is seemingly out of whack/balance and while I have been seeing doctors, physios, chiros and doing daily online searches, I have yet to figure out exactly what the core issue/cause (or causes as it may be) is. 

It seems like it started right before this year’s CrossFit Open. I was sick for a week then had to travel for work a week before the Open started. I (stupidly) tried to kick it into full gear as soon as I got back and immediately effed up my left shoulder (an old college swimming injury). Then during 13.1 I threw out L4 and L5 by snatching a pretty heavy weight for me by having really horrible form. As the open progressed, my performance got worse and worse. By the time 13.5 came around, I just bailed on the whole thing; not wanting to put my health at any more risk than I already had (especially for a bullshit workout like 13.5). 

Since then, my pelvis has been so unstable that I’ve resorted to wearing an S/I belt from the time I wake up to when I go to bed at night (an aside, nothing makes you feel sexier than wearing this thing…nothing!).  I’m no longer Oly lifting because every other time I do, I throw my pelvis/lumbar out. I’ve continued to do body weight WODs, but I’m so easily winded and sucked dry from them, it has become not only demoralizing but incredibly disconcerting. And in general, my energy is just garbage; feeling fatigued and unmotivated much of the time. 

I’m slowly putting the pieces together, but I easily get frustrated and impatient by the process (which is easy when you are in pain and are not able to do one of the few things that brings a lot of satisfaction to your life). I’m seeing a new Chiro who ordered X-rays of my pelvis this week (to see if there is any degeneration). I have an appointment with a Naturalpath in a couple weeks who has come highly recommended by several athletes. And I am going to reach out to a Physio friend of mine who is also a CrossFitter to see if she would do some training sessions with me to correct/fine tune my body mechanics and form. (I’m not a fan nor do I trust the trainers at my box to be able to help me. CrossFit trainers are good at championing you when you are on the rise, but suck at working with you when you are on the mend).

I’m not able to have a pity party without a silver lining…I’m just wired that way. Since we got back from Spring Break, Finn’s after school schedule is all over the place. With me working from home more, he is coming home directly after school more often. Inspired by the amazing weather we’ve been having in the northeast, he and I have been working out together a couple times a week. Last night we went to the outdoor CrossFit park next to my box to so a small WOD. In the light rain with sun coming in through the clouds and the green bursting from the leafing trees around us we did a great workout together:

  • 800 m Run, then 3 rounds of
  • 20 Pullups
  • 20 Air Squats
  • 20 Burpees
  • 20 Situps
  • Then another 800 m Run

We kept together the whole time and while it was really hard for him, he was so psyched to have push himself that hard. And I was so psyched to be able to share this experience with him…which may not have happened if I wasn’t injured and unable to participate in the regular classes.  

Silver lining folks…silver lining…

Perspective

I thought yesterday morning was a rough one. As I was driving to my early morning appointment, I discovered I had a flat. Luckily my (amazing) mechanic was on the way and he fixed it right on the spot (which is reasonable since he changed my winter tires out last week and it was a seal issue). Running behind, I rushed to work through three highway construction zones for a mid morning meeting…which turned out had been cancelled only an hour earlier.

This morning I woke up way too effing early. My shoulder has been inexplicably killing me and making it hard to sleep much past 3 or 4. After rolling it out and getting some work done, Finn woke up to get our morning started. Finn paid me some money that I had spotted him over the weekend and I went to go for my wallet for change. I far too often leave my wallet in the car, so I didn’t panic at first when I didn’t find it. After getting him off to school, I then spent a half hour scouring both house and car…nothing. 

The last time I remembered having it was when Finn and I went to get creemees last night. On my way to the office this AM (I do not like driving sans license), I called and left a message at the creemee stand. Before I arrived at work, I had received a message that it had been found and was at the police station.  I turned around and went back to get it. Not only was it returned, but ALL $80 in cash was still in it. 

While all this shit can be stressful (on top of the usual life juggling stuff), I am so very thankful for the place where I live and how we take care of each other here. 

Direct Finn quote about tonight’s Bat Mitzvah party:

“This might have been the best night of my life.”

(Sorry about the crappy sound.)

A great day in Montreal. First, Finn and I tagged along with dbg to her Monteverdi concert rehearsal at McGill (I find the rehearsals far more interesting than the actual concerts).  Afterwards we had great food at a old skool Portuguese joint (the best chicken and chips ever!) and then finished off our afternoon at the Biodome (pic above). 

It’s finally sunny here and above 50F/10C. We have to head back to back to VT tomorrow, but not before meeting up with dbg’s dad (dbgd?) tonight for some good Indian eats.

(Yep…Finn is still rocking his ska/blues brothers/guido gangster look. He put it back on first thing when he woke this AM.)

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