dad...you're a discoball

dad...you're a discoball

Random bits of a single dad

So many for Saturday

  • After 4 days of being cellphone-less, my new phone arrived yesterday in the mail. I actually was enjoying not having the damn thing on me all the time. (BTW - With a Moto I can text and skype call via my computer…so it wasn’t a huge deal.)
  • My poker game got cancelled last night (too many people bailed) and I slept for 8 hours (drug aided) for the first time in over a week. 
  • ^I need to figure that shit out.^
  • Today is a gorgeous day in Vermont. I plan on getting my ass out there after drinking a gallon of coffee and making it mine. 
  • By which I mean, I’m going to a CrossFIt class and then go canoeing for the rest of the day.
  • And this evening I’m going to some CrossFit people’s big end of the summer party. I haven’t socialized much with people from my box. I’m trying to stay positive about it.
  • I spend way too much of my life scheduling things (random…I know). 
  • Finn had a great first 1/2 week back at school. He not only comes home happy every day, but excited about the days, weeks and year to come.
  • Work was exhausting this week.  BUT SO GOOD! It’s crazy to me that I stuck with my old job as long as I did. Grant it, I may still be in the honeymoon period, but it is so nice to be working with people that want my help and expertise rather than begrudgingly having to need it. 
  • I have some travel coming up. Now that I work at home, I need outlets to get out in the world. 
  • Beyond today, I still have no solid plans for the weekend. 
  • If you are so inclined, tag me in one of those listy things. I’d be game for it.

Laborious Weekend

Per usual, Finn is going away with his mom this Labor Day weekend. I will have him for the next three Friday/Saturdays after that (one being my birthday*). As the last big hurrah for the summer, I feel like I should have planned something, but couldn’t muster anything up with all the transition going on; it’s felt like too much to take on. 

Because I’m only sleeping about 4 hours a night right now, that means I have A LOT of unstructured time on my hands over the next 3 to 4 days. Yeah I am doing things here and there (drinks/dinner with friends, some work), but I need to figure something out so as not to become an emo sack of shit.

So what are you doing or what would you do this weekend if you had it completely free? Like your favorite/most hated boss has said to you before, “There’s no such thing as a bad idea.”  Go crazy…why not?

*I’ll be turning 42 and it feels like the novelty of my 40s has worn off. I’m all in now…there’s really no turning back at this point.

?

Fifth Grade
Photo filters and enhancements by Finn.
He came home beaming; he loves his new teacher and class. It’s been SO LONG since I’ve seen him like this about school  Yay!

Fifth Grade

Photo filters and enhancements by Finn.

He came home beaming; he loves his new teacher and class. It’s been SO LONG since I’ve seen him like this about school  Yay!

No hot water (for the 2nd day in a row) - check

Dead phone (from an epic drop yesterday) - check

Less than 4 hours of sleep (this bitch has some serious insomnia lately) - check

Another day of all-day meetings - oh yeah!

Screw it…It’s Finn’s first day of Fifth Grade with a new and amazing teacher. He’s super psyched about it…as am I. 

GPOY - The nerdy consultant edition.

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a car selfie. Off to 3 solid days of onsite client meetings.

GPOY - The nerdy consultant edition.

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a car selfie. Off to 3 solid days of onsite client meetings.

Anonymous asked:
Would you ever get married again?

I’ve never been married.

Oh wait…actually I was once. But it was for money…not love. 

Oh wait…that sounds really bad.

In short, I married a friend of mine in college so our financial aide didn’t get taken away when the federal government rewrote the regulations in the early 90s (neither of us received help from our parents).   Ironically…she was a lesbian.

That might tell you a lot about my perspective of marriage. It’s not that I’m not open to it - because I think it holds a lot of value in our culture, especially with same sex marriages - but I think most take it for grant it and don’t think about it very critically. 

Every time I see your blog pop up I'm instantly reminded of Richard Gere. True story.

I’m not quite that silver yet…give me another couple years. 

I was just trying to remember the first movie I saw of his. From his filmography, it looks to be An Officer an a Gentlemen in 1982. If you do the math, I was 9 or 10. Seriously…wtf were my parents thinking?

What posters did you have on you wall as a teenager?

Younger Teen - I remember ones of Thompson Twins, The Cure and The Smiths.

Older Teen - A HUGE psychedelic poster of the Beatles and the all too familiar Pink Floyd logo.

Anonymous asked:
If it isn't too intrusive, would you mind sharing how you became a donor dad? I think it is so lovely how much you care for your two older kids. My fiancé and I have a donor in mind but we are struggling with how to ask him.... Any advice?

This might be is the best Anon question I’ve ever received.  Thank you!

The short version is…they just asked me. I was young and flattered and had NO IDEA how saying yes would impact my life. I figured I wasn’t doing anything of value with my spunk…so I might as well help a couple sisters out.

The more complex version is…

From their end, I know that they asked a lot of male friends and acquaintances before they asked me. We knew each other, but not very well. In my opinion it helped us grow into a relationship rather than have to redefine it had we been close before. I know that they lost one good friend because of it. 

For me, honestly, it has complicated my life to no end. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. We never intended to become as close as we have; I was supposed to remain the distance uncle figure. As we all grew to trust each other, we became closer and I became much more involved in the kids’ lives. By no means is it easy; just like any family we have our issues.

I hope this helps…please feel free to ask any followup questions.

Saturday Six

Because Fridays are just too damn busy for five…so I have to take a penalty and do one extra. 

  1. This might have been one of the craziest weeks I’ve had in some time. In fact this whole August will go down as one of the most transitional ever. One of the donor moms has this theory about sevens: Every seven years we go through monumental shifts of some sort. So far it holds true. I turn 42 in less than a month. The year I was 35, Finn’s mom and I split. 
  2. It’s weird to post some stupid video and wake up in the morning to 400 reblogs.
  3. Finn and I have been with each other for 10 days in a row now. It’s been really great even though my head as been up my career butt. I wish I had posted more about him this week. 
  4. I’m taking him to his mom’s this morning and he’ll be there until school starts on Wednesday. He is psyched about having a new teacher, but not super psyched about summer coming to an end. For me - just like the video - I’m ready for some routine again.
  5. I will say that life has a different rhythm when your kid gets older and more independent. Last night he went to Friday Night Magic again and I hung out with a good friend at the pub until he was done. And now at 6:30AM, my tweeny boy is still asleep. It’s not bad…just different.  Oh…and he wears Axe deodorant now too.
  6. My weekend is wide open…but I’ll probably just end up working a lot. Welcome to the world of the single dad consultant.

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen today.

For weeks now I’ve been sleeping like complete balls. Except for one night on the Cape, where I slept close to 10 hours, most nights are between 4 to 6  (For the record, I’m a solid 7-8 hour a night guy).

Transitions -  or so I’ve heard - do this to people. Amazingly, I have not been super stressed about my job situation during non work hours. When it went from worse to horrible after I returned from vacation, I knew exactly what I needed to do and began to pragmatically and methodically put a plan together to get out. There have been other things going on in my personal life as well. The accumulative change simply has me revving at a pretty high RPM. It doesn’t feel so much like stress, but a lot of details that need to be managed well.

So when I pulled the plug and quit my job last week , I actually gave a two week notice. I left for a couple days (to the Cape) to give them time to figure out what they wanted to do. I hoped thought they would just terminated me and be done with it. But if not, it would give them time to come up with a departure plan. Come Monday morning, I get into work and on the phone with my boss and quickly realize there is no plan. The long and short of it is that for the last two days she and I tersely went back and forth about what was needed in order for me to download (document) as much institutional knowledge as possible in that time. Yesterday afternoon we had a call with a group of business unit point people to discuss the plan (that I had to come up with) and what was needed. As she had been with me for the previous 36 hours, she talked in condescending and antagonistic circles. Everyone was frustrated and confused. After the call, a close colleague that was on the call walked into my office in tears and told me I should leave immediately. Even knowing the devastating impact my immediate departure would bring to her and others, she knew that it was a losing fight for me.

I spent the last 2 hours of the day putting as much in order that I could, said goodbye to the people in my office, sent my last email to my boss and HR notifying them I was leaving immediately and then…just left. Almost 6 years to the day…and I’m done…at the worst job I’ve ever had.

Today I dive head first into the world of consulting with more work than I know what to do with. It’s freaky as hell…but I trust my gut that I know what the hell I’m doing. 

At the end of day three of all the beach and sun…and some very late nights, my spawn were good sports to pose for a quick pic.
Back to reality today - and figuring out the new job landscape - as Finn and I head to Vermont. Per uzh, the Cape treated us well. Both of want to go back as soon as possible. \
Oh…and my kids are absolutely the very best humans I know. 

At the end of day three of all the beach and sun…and some very late nights, my spawn were good sports to pose for a quick pic.

Back to reality today - and figuring out the new job landscape - as Finn and I head to Vermont. Per uzh, the Cape treated us well. Both of want to go back as soon as possible. \

Oh…and my kids are absolutely the very best humans I know. 

We’ve decided we want to do this forever. Car camping 4 Lyfe.

We’ve decided we want to do this forever. Car camping 4 Lyfe.

So you quit your job… What are you going to do now dbd?

Going camping on the cape!!!

So you quit your job… What are you going to do now dbd?

Going camping on the cape!!!