Pride & Progenies
So yeah…I have these two other kids.
I remember saying this on a date several years back and watching her face go white. In her head, she was thinking I had baby mommas (a term I fucking hate, but seems appropriate here) all over the place. No, I’m not quite that much of a douche. I just happened to have some seed sitting around and I wasn’t doing anything with them. A nice couple asked if they could have some…
Rewind 15 years. Twenty-three year old (not so) innocent me gets a letter in the mail from these two women acquaintances. I knew them through a summer camp I had worked at, but they were more friends of a friend. I was flattered. It took me all of two seconds (that’s a couple days in sperm years) to decide to do it - not knowing this one cavalier decision would be the fulcrum for the rest my life.
Flash forward to this week/weekend:
- My 12 year old son danced in his first large ballet production - it was amazing.
- My daughter is graduating eighth grade next week and received the Mayor’s reward for academic excellence (I’m going back for the commencement).
- Finn and I went to the Pride Parade with the Moms and my daughter. Despite the rain, it was incredibly fun. Finn was shameless at pandering for parade booty (I must be clear in this context, I’m referring to schwag).
- Finn and his brother rode mountain bikes off trail through the park and I ran alongside them. We all felt like bad ass boys.
- My older son played in his final soccer match for the year - I watched in total awe at his grace and athleticism. He’s quitting soccer so that he can dance full time next year.
- My daughter and I made cookies for dessert. I’ve successfully passed on the baking bug to her (and got her a new book on pastry for graduation).
- We all (including the moms and Finn) played Bananagrams after dinner…laughing and talking smack far past everyone’s bedtime (note: yet another game I suck at).
The next day, I take Finn to his Grandmother’s (his mom’s mom) house and hang out with all of them for awhile (his mom, nana, and uncles). Despite our relationship not working, I’m still close with her and her family. I’m always very thankful that of all the women I could have (mistakenly) knocked up, it was her. All of us have figured out a way to support one another and be a good family (and good people) for Finn.
So yeah…this is my family. It takes a lot of fucking work and it breaks every expectation (and occasionally my heart) one might have about what it means to be a parent and have a family. Yet, the result is a life full of a lot of love and joy of being part of something so profound.
